#this might be my entire life philosophy now that I’m thinking about it

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

My personal fav will always be

“That’s what she said”

(it’s simply a classic)

But even like,

“The flat we rented was a palace for my queen/if by palace you mean the asbestos and beans from a tin and the gin that you brewed in the bathtub🙄”

creates this effect too. It’s very legitimately my favorite thing about TAD.

I love how the amazing devil writes these incredibly beautiful and complex lyrics that make you cry but then also have lines like

"Yeah we thought you were mental YOU WERE TALKING TO TREES"

And "could be ghosts or monsters or a robot vampire- i dont know!"

[ryomku]

yellow flowers - kamo choso

synopsis: “when a person gives you yellow flowers it means they want to stop wasting time and spend their lives together with you”.

tags: choso x reader, fem! reader, fluff, aged up characters, college au!, no curses au!, use of y/n

a/n: i know nothing of nursing nor am i a nurse student or stuff like that so there might be some mistakes on choso´s career, idk it's like 1am and i'm crying

a/n 2: i’m mostly doing this after the leaks of chapter 259 cause i'm still crying and i need something soft in my life right now, this is based on a real experience, sorry if there's any typos english is not my first language

As someone who has never received flowers their whole life you don't get the appeal of such displays of affection, dads giving flowers to moms, boyfriends giving chocolate to their girlfriends, you just didn't see the need for such things.

In your eyes this was something unnecessary and silly, your parents never showed affection towards each other, in reality the only interactions they had were arguments which always occurred very early in the morning, at the hours where everyone is meant to be asleep and that you couldn't help but overhear.

Since they always talked about you and your problems that don't really exist, they were just looking for an excuse to say what they really think about each other.

As time went by you just didn't pay attention to any of those things, you had a very neutral opinion about flower giving, yet there were people who said, “You're a pretty girl. How come you've never received flowers before?” Genuinely you didn't know what to answer since you don't have low self-esteem and you love yourself the way you are because there's nothing wrong with the way you look or feel, so it was something that could not be answered.

Yet on valentine's day one of your friends gave you and your girl friends some plastic roses as a token of appreciation and it genuinely surprised you because for many years (or your entire life) you've never received gifts on valentine's, it was a nice gesture you though you thought it might be the last time you get a flower.

You were proven wrong.

On September of last year you met Choso Kamo on the bus you took on the way to college he was a nursing student, more specifically a phlebotomy technician, in your life have you ever seen someone so passionate about their career, the way in which he spoke about every detail regarding his classes it was hypnotizing it drew you in, suddenly you became friends and later one he introduced you to his friend group.

Soon enough it was a new year full of new classes, new teachers and the same friend group that had your back.

Time flies fast they say and suddenly it's March 21st and somehow the entire campus is covered in yellow. Wherever you walked there was people selling bouquets of sunflowers and daisies, girls all dolled up in pretty dresses, guys wasting ridiculous amounts of money on flower bouquets or in plushies it was weird something wasn't adding up.

What festivity happens today? The thought flooded your mind, you felt and looked clueless about the things that were happening around, still there's no time to waste cuz classes start soon.

10:00 am

Luckily the philosophy of education class was a free hour since the teacher didn't show up, there were so many things you can do in a free hour like eating, sleeping or just hanging out with friends and forcefully you had to choose the last one, against your own will.

“Heh Y/N could you come real quick to the cafeteria near the med students building?” Was the message that Yuki sent you a couple minutes ago.

In your way to said building more couples hugging and kissing surrounded the entire campus, it was getting too uncomfortable with how intense some of them were kissing in public.

Upon arriving at the cafeteria you spotted your friends quickly noticing two flower bouquets in front of Choso.

“Those flowers must be for his siblings. Didn't know Yuuji liked flowers so much.”

That's what anyone would think because since you met Choso he always spoke highly and dearly of his brothers, they were his entire life and his reason for becoming a nurse aside from his interest in the career.

Seeing how Choso cares about his siblings is another thing added to the mental list of things you like about him. Is there someone out there who doesn't have a crush on him? Cuz you find that hard to believe, just by feeling the way you felt nervous and the butterflies in your belly would be going crazy every time he talks to you.

Liking Choso was inevitable, like a storm or a hurricane, it was just meant to happen.

Liking Choso was something that involuntarily at this point in your head was always his face, his voice and even the small hugs he gave you every morning upon arriving at college.

Liking Choso was unexpected, you always thought that you might never have someone to like in your life since you didn't want to end up like your parents, living in an unhappy marriage full of arguments and sadness.

Liking Choso makes you feel human.

‘’Hi Y/N! What took you so long?’’ said Yuki as she moved her backpack to give you space to sit down next to her.

‘’Stupid philosophy teacher didn’t even send a message in time and had us waiting like idiots outside of his classroom.’’ You said as you sat down beside your blonde friend.

‘’Y/N here you go.’’ Gojo (your other friend) handed you a package of cookies.

‘’Why are you giving me cookies?’’ As you ask you gave him and Geto (who was handing you a bag of candies) a pointed look.

‘’Just cuz we want to and because you’re a good friend and we appreciate you.’’ Weirded out you accepted the gifts.

As you turned to put the gifts in your bag they drifted off to a conversation with Shoko, Nanami and Haibara though your attention was caught by the flowers displayed on the tablet in front of Choso the curiosity was eating you up.

Somehow Choso was a lot quieter than usual, which is fair enough he is really quiet and only gives his opinion or joins the conversation when he feels like it yet today not only was he quiet, he seemed uncomfortable and it was very clear, his facial expressions gave it away.

Suddenly Yuki stands up and walks behind Choso grabbing his wrist and guiding his hand towards one of the flower bouquets, in unison the rest of your friend group starts laughing while Gojo being the menace he is, starts recording everything.

‘’Come on man we all know you are a coward and if we don’t help you’re never gonna give her the flowers.’’ Said Yuki while laughing and giving you a smirk.

‘’Hold o-on Yuki! I don’t wanna do it with a-all of you here!!’’ Choso started to pull his hand away from the flowers all while his face gained a red hue and stuttered.

You gave all of them a questioning look. Choso was gonna give someone flowers? Did he like someone? If so, who was it? Was it a friend of yours? Or was it someone you don’t know of?

Questions filled your head as a sudden feeling of uneasiness gained a hold of your heart, it was kinda stupid that you thought someone like Choso might like you back, you hated the attitude you had with people, sometimes you would come off as rude or at worst having a potty mouth which you only spoke like that with close friend, Choso being one of them, probably your carefree attitude and shity mouth drove him away or he generally just didn’t like you as a person.

Maybe he never noticed you at all.

It only hurts because you thought he might like you due to the shyness he had around you which you liked a lot, even your friends would tease you both, while it made you giddy inside you never really knew if Choso felt the same way.

Now that you think about it the teasing started with Geto and Haibara saying Choso wanted to take you out to the movies, that never happened, the only reaction you both had was pure laughter.

You were so out of it drowning in your thoughts that you didn’t notice Choso grabbing the flowers and standing in front of you, flowers in hand and a blush on his tattooed face while he handed you the flowers.

‘’These are for you Y/N I hope you like them.’’ He gave you the flowers while looking away.

That made you snap out of it.

Choso, he gave you yellow flowers.

HE GAVE YOU FLOWERS!!

Choso’s face was a poem, truely. You looked so shocked, that he started to question if buying you flowers was a good idea.

Did you not like them?

Were the flowers too simple?

The thought of you rejecting him crossed his head. What was he going to do if you rejected him? It was going to be so embarrassing, he was gonna be rejected in front of the whole cafeteria, that only increased his anxiety.

Suddenly his ears were blessed with your soft laughter, his heart fluttered.

Your beautiful smile, the soft laughter and the cute blush in your cheeks made the anxiety go away, then he saw the most in love look in your eyes. Oh, how he loved your eyes, he could get lost in them for hours.

He felt a pair of arms around his neck in a warm embrace, all he could hear was a soft whisper.

‘’Thank you, Choso.’’

His arms circled around your waist holding you in a gentle hug, his warm hands rubbing circles, he didn’t even notice that he no longer had the flowers in his hands.

‘’Y/N I like you.’’ His smooth and deep voice whispered in your ear, the warmth in your cheeks increased.

‘’I like you too Choso.’’

They say that when a person gives you yellow flowers it means they want to stop wasting time and spend their lives together with you, and Choso knew since the moment he saw you that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.

[fromgoy2joy]

Here is the scene -

Shabbat dinner at a rabbi’s house with all the college kids from different schools in the area immersed in discussion. Spaghetti lines up high on each plate with a minimal serving of droopy artichoke. The rabbi made an announcement at the beginning of the meal that calories don’t work on Shabbat and we’re eating for two souls :

A girl I hadn’t met before- Dawn- was discussing the lawsuit set against her school for antisemitism. This is very common nowadays so I was nodding along, twirling noodle around my fork.

My friend , who we will call Duck, shook his head. “I’m lucky.” He stabbed a piece of artichoke. “My school is administratively failing, so that’s the focus. Not the world falling to crap.”

I nod along, eying the challah on the other side of the table.

“Joy, have you experienced anything?” Dawn asked, politely. I know she would’ve loved me to say “oh nothing! We’re actually beloved there!” But that wasn’t the case.

“Oh- uh! “ I jolted up. “No more than the usual.”

“Well,” Dawn peered at me. “What’s your ‘usual’?”

“Ah,” I took the moment to think. “Oh. Well. I started my conversion journey in October and all my freshman first semester friends cut me off because that made me complicit in genocide.”

Both of their eyes widened at me. “Oh G-d,” Dawn put down her fork. “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh don’t worry about it! You live, you learn.” I waved my hand. “Let’s see. Oh, oof, there was the time a Jewish kid got beat up and nearly thrown into traffic at a protest -“

“Really!?”

“Oh yeah,” I twirled spaghetti. “Our antisemitism teach in was canceled because we are “genocide colonizers” and it got dangerous to host. A professor made an entire class defend Hamas for a final paper,”

“No fucking way.” Duck breathed.

I shrugged. “Apparently, it was an 1800s philosophy class.” My two friends squawked before I continued. “We’ve got the cliche of ‘resistance is justified’ but I don’t think that’s anything unique-“

“You understand that’s still bad, right?” Dawn interrupted. I felt caught off guard, and answered slowly.

“Yeah of course. It’s just kinda lame. Lack of originality. There’s a bit more. Oh!” I snapped my fingers. “The Nazi thing!”

Dawn and Duck are both staring at me, in a daze. I felt like a commercial, head buzzing with so many examples that I wanted to say “but wait , there’s more!”

But instead of a free water bottle to go with whatever infomercial contraption there is, instead it was a long list of ways my life is passively and actively in danger.”

“I’m so sorry, Joy.” Duck began. Dawn nodded slightly. “I had no idea it was this bad. I was at a conference recently, and a lot of the talk was how bad your university has gotten. You guys might actually be the worst in the state.”

There are things I know logically. Like that I should eat more than 1.65 meals a day, that what I’ve been experiencing isn’t normal.

But it was Shabbat, my heart was as light as it could be, and I was here in my beloved community. I twisted my face into a grim smile. “Huh. Celebrity moment! Now, could you pass the challah?”

(I got like five extra pieces, so, you know! Perks to Jew hate!

Jokes, jokes.)

[sophieinwonderland]

At best plurality is akin to a philosophy, or way of life. No way of life is “truth” necessarily, though people tend to believe that their own way is The way. It’s an alternative explanation for natural brain phenomenon. Internal dialogue is normal; however, one can choose to decipher the “other” as separate if that so pleases them. As social beings, having internal dialogues is incredibly useful. They can help broaden one’s perspective of a situation, to see another side. It can also be helpful for brainstorming, in the creative process. And of course, it’s useful from a mental health perspective, such as managing depression or anxiety. I have “voices” in my head all the time. If I’m overly anxious about something, I might tell myself to chill in a manner that isn’t my typical tone or manner, and yes it can appear to come from “outside” me. What my brain is doing is borrowing from its environment. I could of course decide to focus on this “voice” and draw it out as its own separate entity. However, I don’t see the usefulness of that. That’s then living inside my own head, rather than being present in the here and now. I spent my whole youth living inside my head and all that did was isolate me. I find living in the here and working to forge connections with my environment and the people around me brings me a much higher quality of life. Again though, that is me and what makes sense for where I am in this current stage of my life.

It can be dangerous to spread this kind of rhetoric, that plurality is an objective reality, when you have a platform that may attract younger minds not yet fully developed. This way of thinking can create a hinderance in their development. It’s one thing to talk about it as something you experience that helps you. It’s an entirely other to encourage it in hopes of propagating it. The most current research shows, for example, that encouraging the idea of separate identities to clients actually hurts their progress.

First, before we get into the bulk of what you're saying, this blog is a fact first zone. If there is a study out there that has shown empirically that encouraging the idea of separate identities is harmful then I would like to see it and know what methods they used to come to such a conclusion.

So far, internal family systems has been shown to help people. Tulpamancy is shown to help people. And while DID specialists do tend to recommend treating them as parts of one whole person, they also paradoxically want to approach each alter as a separate individual to build up communication between the system.

Many spiritual beliefs that involve speaking to some invisible other have shown positive results as well.

So if you have research showing that people treating different identities as separate is harmful then it's up to you to show it. As of right now I have no reason to take your word for it.

With that out of the way, I really find this whole argument you're making to be pretty... basic.

Despite what you say, I don't think a majority of people actually have multiple autonomous voices in their head. Aside from, perhaps, when they're sleeping. (Whole other can of worms there.)

Having these separate agents with their own memories and senses of self is not nearly a philosophy. It is a psychological phenomenon, and one that occurs cross-culturally. Yes, some cultures will say that it is a spiritual possession, just like an earlier anon mentioned that they used to consider the people they communicate with ghosts. But if you look deeper and get past people's own personal explanations for what they experience, what you will find is a lot of commonality between these phenomena, regardless of whether somebody gives a spiritual or psychological explanation.

At the same time though, this does not seem to apply to everybody. There are singlets out there who are just one person. They may be different in different circumstances as people are. But they don't experience the type of experiences that are described by plurals and wouldn't relate to them.

To reduce plurality to just being a philosophical concept does a disservice to it. Because plurality isn't merely philosophical but has very distinct psychological characteristics and understanding how plurality works might help to solve some of the greatest mysteries about how human brains in general function.

[ironunderstands]

How do you feel about the Penacony final boss?

I love it both gameplay and story wise.

I’m gonna yap about the gameplay because I actually adore HSR’s combat system so yeah. Personally, I think the weakness break = gained shield mechanic is great, as you are a) forced to use Harmony MC who is an amazing breaker and also buffs characters who like breaking which causes b) you bring characters who also like breaking things, which is a really good way to Segway into the new break effect meta we will be seeing, and allows players to get a feel for it before Boothill and Firefly really release.

Also like, the music, the design, the Bible references, Robin? Robin. Witness the will of the weak? Chucking the fucking astral express at Sunday? How Sunday literally and metaphorically attacks us with music? The boss switching faces to look more like Ena’s puppet form at the end? I love it.

Story wise, it’s an amazing way to end Penacony. Harmony vs the Order, Robin vs Sunday, Everyone vs the Family. The shot where Robin catches Sunday is like engraved into my brain. The fact that he’s the bird who can’t fly and she’s the own who can, so he plummets and she flies to save him. How only when we defeat Sunday, can he be truly free.

“People dream because one day they will wake up “ UGHHHH RAAAAAAAAAA. I can’t express why this line is just so fucking good, but I will try. In your dreams, you experience a warped version of reality. Perhaps it’s what you want to see, perhaps it’s what you don’t want to see, perhaps it’s something else entirely. In this, dreams mirror life. They prepare us to live, they give us experiences we might never have in reality, they show us possibilities we may or may not encounter. However, dreams are fleeting and you will eventually wake up. That’s why people want to dream, because they want to experience reality, every part of it, the good and the bad, even the unimaginable, just without the consequences.

So when you inevitably wake up, and the dreams are no more, the only thing that remains are the memories of those dreams. Those dear memories, which you learn from again and again and again. So you dream, again, and again, and again, because only in reality can you appreciate and learn from the dream, and only in the dream can you truly understand reality. I can’t really phrase why I adore this line, so hopefully you can at least get an idea from this.

I honestly struggle to explain why I love 2.2 (and Penacony as a whole) in general, if I were to try, I’d probably say I just really love power of friendship plots. Call it corny or stupid, you are wrong! Incorrect! People coming together to support one another and achieve a common goal is the best thing ever! I adore how so many different factions with their own goals and philosophies and motives and methods from across the universe of hsr come together to fight for their freedom. To work well, in Harmony. To prove that no matter who or what you are, your life does not and should not be defined by Order.

So yeah, it’s great, hopefully I can phrase why it’s great in the future but for now I hope this satisfies

[theresattrpgforthat]

my girlfriend really wants a game that is "crunchy" about how you build a whole character, ie. having "mechanics" for the fantasy of said characters. an example would be spheres for pathfinder or 5e. we're just looking for other ideas! we both love pbta and we both love 5e, but sometimes you want to chew on the system a little.

THEME: Mechanically Dense Characters

Alright, so let’s see what I can recommend that I haven’t recommended a lot yet. I’m going to try and approach this with a few different genres, as well as a few different systems. There will also be links to related rec posts at the end!

Into the Black, by Monkey’s Paw Games.

INTO THE BLACK is a sci-fi roleplaying game where one or more players take on the role of Management and presents a futuristic universe of corporate oppression and class warfare, while others take on the role of Freelancers and create characters to struggle and survive in that universe. Players must navigate and explore a strange and wondrous galaxy while deeply indebted to an interstellar corporation. Life among the stars, then, is about treading the razor's edge of struggling for survival and finding joy and love where one can.

Into the Black is built on the Into the Odd rules system, created by Chris McDowell. This places it into the OSR family of games. Now, OSR games are typically pretty lethal at low levels, and Into the Black is no different, but I know that 5E has the same kind of problem, to the point that many people will skip first level altogether.

In Into the Black, your character starts with an occupation, a background, randomly rolled abilities, and some gear. Once you advance to your first level, you take one of two classes, and customize from there. Technicians learn new occupations while Specialists take on new Kinesis Abilities, which are paranormal abilities that fit the space setting. You’ll chew through characters pretty quickly here, but I think that finding a character that does survive past the first few levels might be akin to a Nuzlocke run in a Pokemon game - you care a lot about the person who survives past a certain point, and your investment will help you generate this character’s thoughts, feelings and reactions in the game.

Gubat Banwa, by Makapatag.

GUBAT BANWA is a Martial Arts Tactics and War Drama Tabletop RPG where you play as martial artists poised to change the world: Kadungganan: the cavalry, the wandering swordsmen, the tide turners, the knights-errant, the ones to call in darkest night in a world inspired and centering Southeast Asian folklore.

Witness, grand warriors, honorable gallants that trudge and toil under kings and haloes. Witness, KADUNGGANAN, that refulgent name. That blasted name: WITNESS NOW. The end of days is upon us: and the new world MUST BE BORN. Bear your blades, incant your magicks. Cut open your tomorrow from the womb of violence. Inscribe your name upon the very akasha of this world. 

There are plenty of mechanics to immerse yourself in when it comes to the Kadungganan of Gubat Banwa. You have a homeland, a social class, defining life events, a profession, a religion, and a specialization. These choices give you pieces of your backstory, but they also give you skills. You’ll also choose a Discipline, a martial art that your character is currently practising, which defines your character’s philosophy and the way they carry themself into battle. Various cultures have collections of different disciplines, with each flavour receiving special abilities, as well as thematic advice on how they present themselves in battle. If you like games that give you extremely cool abilities and badass weaponry, and tie everything in your character to integral pieces of the setting, then Gubat Banwa is for you.

Neon Nights, by EfanGamez.

In Jeriko City, everybody wants to be somebody. Who do you wanna be?

Neon Nights is a cyberpunk/dystopian tabletop RPG set on Earth after a nuclear war devastated the entire planet. After hundreds of years of thousands of people roaming the desolate, irradiated Great Wastes, megacities emerged from the dust of deserts. Where there was once crumbling roads and dancing dust devils now stand skyscrapers towering over hundreds of thousands of roaming pedestrians walking the streets of Jeriko City, located on the East Coast of the once powerful United States of America.

Neon Nights uses a point-buy system to increase parts of your character sheet as you like, which gives you a lot of flexibility when cobbling together a concept. You use points to increase traits, which seem to affect your rolls, perks, which are special abilities used in specific situations, and World Stats, which determine how your character is seen by the rest of the world. How famous are you? How feared? How much respect are you granted? At character creation this may be a guide for the GM as to how your character is received by different elements of society. And these arenas will change depending on what you do in the game. You’ll also choose Occupations which give you pre-determined modifiers and skills that make your character unique. Finally, there’s your gear! Biotech, consumables, and weapons all give your character tools to use in whatever situations you find yourselves in.

Mutants in the Now, by Julian Kay.

In the ‘80s and ‘90s, they ruled the streets, kick-flipping off of villainous faces and slipping into the shadows. Then, they vanished from the world of tabletop gaming.

But they’re back. And ready to KICK BUTT.

Mutants in the Now is a retromodern retake on the mutant animal role-playing games long past and left behind by licensing. Mutants fight to survive, thrive, and make the world better for themselves and humanity.

If you want unlimited options, Mutants in the Now has options. Over 130 animal species and over 200 mutation traits are in the basic book, along with fourteen combat styles, psionic powers, and detailed rules about combat, allies, villains, and more. You can roll randomly for your animal, and spend points to improve them via mutations, combat styles etc.

There’s a lot of pieces that you can look at and then generate a backstory based off of the character you’ve created, and the setting is high action, Saturday-morning-cartoon in theme, but the details are up to your play group. If you like limitless possibilities for character creation, you should check out Mutants in the Now (and it’s expansion, Mutants in the Next!)

Other Posts To Check Out

All The Dice

Branching Out From D&D

Character Customization

Echoes of D&D

Tactical Combat

Rules-Lite Systems with Classes

[girl4music]

“Like so many of the stories that we’ve done, many many different elements came together to create a script. Mehndi was one of them and it’s something that I was a little aware of. I’ve done a little bit of reading on it. Not a lot. I believe Rob was the one who came to me, however, and said ‘Wow, this is fascinating’, ‘this is, you know, really great, what can you do with this?’

I had already wanted to grab a hold of the reincarnation idea and there are a few elements that fuelled this. One I’m going to have to reference is a song by Paul Williams, which was in The Muppet Movie. And there was a line in this one song that I felt, and I’d always felt this way, described the two characters perfectly. The line was ‘there’s not a word yet for old friends who have just met’. And I thought you know something? They are old friends. They just met. But they’re old friends. So in my mind throughout history and throughout destiny, these two characters’ souls have existed and have met, parted ways, met, intertwined, parted ways. And that fit in perfectly with the reincarnation theory but what was important for these two characters is that those two souls have throughout history intertwined, they’ve come together, they’ve parted ways, they’ve come together again, they’ve intertwined, they’ve parted ways. This has happened continuously and every time it happens in their lifetimes, they recognize each other. Not like ‘oh, you’re Xena, oh, I’m Gabrielle’. No no, they say ‘I know you. I know you and I have to be with you. I don’t know why but I do’.

Now bringing the Mehndi into it. Mehndi was perfect symbolism to this because when you think about it, Mehndi, um, if you’ve done it and if you’ve read up on what Mehndi means, it’s not just drawing. Mehndi has an entire meaning behind it. There’s a whole philosophy and spirituality based on Mehndi. The simplest part of it was the fact that Mehndi has a lot of lines that run parallel to each other and they will intersect, they will form beautiful designs, then they will part again and run parallel. Well, that’s lives. Xena and Gabrielle - those are the lives. Those are the threads of their lives. They run parallel to each other, they intersect, form beautiful designs. Then they might part but they still run parallel to each other. And what really counts is what’s between those lines. There’s the title; ‘Between The Lines’.”

Half the reason why they ended up taking the soulmates motif so seriously and literally was due to Steven L. Sears and his reincarnation idea and understanding of Xena and Gabrielle’s soulmate connection. So, in my view, half the reason why the love story is so damn profound is because of him.

Now he would be the first to scoff at that and say that I’m giving him far too much credit. But that is exactly why he is amazing and deserves that much credit.

‘Between The Lines’ took the relationship between Xena and Gabrielle to a whole other level because we do learn that they actually are true to life soulmates and all of what that informed and involved for them as individual characters as well as together as a couple. And so everything leading up to this episode now felt so much more intense and deep and poignant.

Substantial. And I wouldn’t have been able to write my character study thesis without it. Even though I don’t directly mention it - it’s sort of just embedded within the insightful interpretation that I’ve made about it because this episode doesn’t just tell a one-time storyline about the characters. It essentially informs EVERYTHING about them. Who they are and why - and especially how they are such a great team that navigate their soulmate connection to be just that.

It’s like these two people who seemed to be total strangers until this episode was seen were actually destined to meet and travel together and fall in love because their very soul that they shared fated it so.

And by the gods - I have yet to see or know a relationship that is that damn EPIC on-screen.

Xena and Gabrielle are the WLW representation you expect to be provided - considered canon or not - because this level of storytelling between female characters that can be interpreted as romantic just doesn’t happen anymore. There’s no time or room for it to in the TV art/entertainment industry apparently.

[voidartisan]

Clone Wars characters as things i've heard in class

you have no idea how long i've been saving these up

Fives: Stop licking my dryer sheet!

Ahsoka: Yeah, he transferred to the Senate guard, he doesn’t like it there. He says they smell like pencils.

Ahsoka:*Walking in* Barriss, what’s the average life span of a woman? Like 70-80 years, right? I need comfort. I need to know that I will die eventually.

Anakin: Just get a giant hammer, name it kindness, and then BAM.

Palpatine: Yes, taxing the peasants, very good!

Obi-Wan: I am begging you, stop spamming the cringey Twitter account I made in high school.

Anakin: How much Spanish do you you speak?

Kit Fisto: Enough to know all the cuss words.

Leia: Thus, philosophy’s flaming razor sword: It doesn’t matter.

Riyo Chuchi: I actually blew a couple of fuses in my room last year, so maintenance says I’m not supposed to plug in five waffle irons at a time any more.

Rex:*Swears upon knocking over something hot and heavy, looks up* In case you didn’t hear that — KRIFF.

Ahsoka: Just eat the frog already!

Ahsoka: You know what’s worse than freshmen? Freshman boys.

Obi-Wan: *As Korkie walks past in the hallway* Hello, mini-me.

Quinlan Vos: Anyone here watched the movie Jaws? Well, I’m writing a book, and it’ll be kind of like that, but with fantasy Puritans and a giant spider. I’m calling it “Puritan Spider Jaws”

Later: I haven’t decided who’s gonna die yet, but I’m thinking the spider’s gonna get set on fire.

Young Obi-Wan: Qui-gon’s a cool teacher, he’s so laid back. I think he might be high like half the time, but his class is really fun.

Mace Windu: Anyone else going to answer? Alright, then. Go ahead, Ben. You could probably teach this class better than me anyway.

Anakin: You know what would solve all of Coruscant’s population problems? Lab babies.

Han, to Luke: You were at that school for three years and didn’t memorize the camera locations?

Leia: Look at my other mask

Han: Why?

Leia: Because it’s black, like your soul.

Kix: I don’t like fighting. Sometimes Rex gets frustrated and yells “Hit him!” Then I hit him once and Rex’s like “Yeah!” and the other guy’s on the floor crying and I’m like “AUGHHHHHH!”

Padmé: Just because I have money doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings.

Ahsoka: Are you going to have any chocolate milk, Rex?

Anakin: Ahsoka, he’s lactose intolerant.

Ahsoka: Oh, sorry—

Rex: Nope. Only for you, Ahsoka.

Rex: *proceeds to pour and chug an entire glass of chocolate milk.*

Obi-Wan: *sarcastically* Didn’t you know? Gingers control the sun.

Korkie: *panicking* Well, no one told me!

Anakin: You know, Master Fisto. Really super buff. Looks like he would run a 5K at the drop of a hat.

Obi-Wan: Anakin, stop making pterodactyl noises.

Din Djarin: Sometimes people ask me about my pronouns. I say that I don’t care what they call me, but it’s not true. I just want to be pronounced “dead.”

Anakin: 4’11”!

Ahsoka: Hey, Master

Anakin: I’m so glad she responds to that. It’s the highlight of my day.

Fives: What are tootsie rolls, anyway? They’re not chocolate, they’re not taffy—

Jesse: It’s better not to ask

Waxer: I got—

Cody: Got expelled? Welp, get your stuff, see you never, nice knowing you.

Ahsoka: Madame Nu don’t care

Jocasta Nu: She don’t

Bail Organa: I have only ever had one person in my life who actually liked banana-flavored Laffy Taffy. And I no longer speak to them.

Obi-Wan: Be careful with these, they’re fragile and expensive—

Anakin: Like my heart

Barriss: The afterlife should be Communist

Hamsters: *frenzied squeaking*

Anakin: *pulling out a small pail* awww…you guys want some Nutella?

Obi-Wan: Stop offering them Nutella

Ahsoka: Is that WHOLE THING filled with Nutella?

Anakin: I mean, not anymore…

Luke: What does a kilogram weigh in American?

Luke: Legally, I can say whatever I want

Han: And I can legally fight you

Boba: Actually, I’m asexual. My son will look exactly like me.

Leia: Han’s got a rough life. Already colorblind, now he’s going deaf at seventeen.

Luke: How do I cite my brain in APA?

Din Djarin: Costco is a cult

Obi-Wan: Can anyone tell me what this is called?

Anakin: A diagram

Obi-Wan: It starts with a k

Anakin: A kdiagram

Ahsoka: *holding up energy drink* Look, Master! Third one today!

Obi-Wan: You are going to die.

Obi-Wan: *checks nutrition facts* 800 mg. Less than a cup of coffee, not too bad. Maybe you won’t die. But you probably will.

Anakin: Master, what if we each brought you a thousand dollars? Then would we still have to take the test?

Mace Windu: I mean, I guess would be better than bringing me… disappointment—

Fennec: It was overhyped

Boba: You just have no soul, that’s what it is

Luke: Eight! Y’know, the devil’s number.

Jango Fett: Why wouldn’t you clone yourself?

Ahsoka: So, when will the grades be in? Tomorrow, or… when should I expect to be depressed?

Padmè, during a mock senatorial campaign: Would you like some of The People’s™ lip balm? It has sparkles.

Luke: Are you okay?

Han, without looking up from his work: I’m straight.

Luke:…

Luke: Well, congratulations on coming out—

Ahsoka: The only one of these I can apply for is the poetry scholarship

Anakin: Roses are red, violets are blue…

Rex: …please give me money.

Ahsoka: Hey, what’s that? Are you planning how we’re all gonna die?

Cody: Yup

Luke: You should play Abba!

Han: You sound like my mother.

Cara: Who’s the main character in your life, Mando?

Din: Uh… my cat, probably

Fives, spinning across the room in a rolling chair: Bounty. The quicker picker upper.

Hondo: No scams for me please, I like money.

Anakin: I’m gonna do a patriotism

Waxer: What is it…

Boil: What’s what?

Waxer: That thing Commander says we’re not allowed to do to the shinies.

Boil: Initiation?

Waxer: There was another word for it.

Boil: Hazing?

Waxer: Yeah! That’s it.

Kix: Fives, if you drop those donuts I will drop YOU

[spacemagicandlaserswords]

The Clone Wars 2x12 ‘The Mandalore Plot’ Reaction

I love Satine. She is AMAZING. She is so fierce, takes absolutely no nonsense, stands up for what she believes in, is exceptionally competent and skilled in her areas of speciality (diplomacy etc), calls out Obi-Wan on his philosophical jedi bullshit and saves his life as well. And the sass. The Sass. It is off the charts. They spend the entire time flirting under the pretence of verbal jousting, sassing back and forth at each other. I love it. I love them. I spent so much of this episode just CACKLING.

Satine and Obi-Wan are perfect together. They compliment each other so well. They’re one of those couples that are just meant for each other. They’re soul mates (if this was a Soul Mates AU). Yes I know what happens shhh just let me enjoy this 

I know I go on about Space Husband Cody all the time but Obi-Wan and Satine are just so good together. Obi-Wan can have a Space Royalty Wife and a Space Warrior Husband, as a treat. Or they could all just get together as a throuple. Actually, Satine, Cody and Obi-Wan as a throuple sounds most excellent. Ultimate power throuple right there. 

Anyway, onwards to the live-blogging style portion of this reaction post.

-

Ahahahaha Obi-Wan is pure sass already

Oooh that’s a pretty building. Not particularly tactically secure though seeing as its walls and ceiling are made of glass. Though that makes sense as a pacifist statement I suppose.

Jango Fett was a common bounty hunter? Excuse?!

“Well, Master Kenobi, my shining jedi knight, to the rescue once again.” OMGILOVEHERALREADY

What were those strange shimmering noises?

“After all these years you’re even more beautiful than ever.” Obi-Wan you are NOT subtle

“Kind words from a man who accuses me of treachery.” CACKLING

“No Mandalorian would engage in such violence.” That sounds exceptionally counterintuitive, even if this is a long time before The Mandalorian series.

Did she just ask him out on a date after a verbal joust?!

Those strange shimmering noises appeared again. Also, the ominous music is about as unsubtle as Obi-Wan’s flirting. I think, just maybe, that they might be trying to tell us that *gasp* something sinister is going on here!

There seems to be quite a few lingering shots on the Prime Minister. Does he do something nefarious later down the line?

Naw they’re on a date! 

The little pauses in “It’s so good to see you again Obi-Wan” aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Death Watch. That’s a subtle name.

“Small group of hooligans.” Well that’s going to come back and bite you now isn’t.

“Most distasteful.” Dooku doing the absolute most to chew all of the scenery on this holocall.

First philosophy lesson of the episode. Satine has a damn good point and she’s not letting Obi-Wan get away with any noble jedi bullshit.

Naw he was so worried about her. 

Obi-Wan just deciding what to do for Satine’s safety. I get that it’s probably a good idea but also side eyeing. 

Ok that was not something I’d ever expect them to show in a “kids tv show”, that was rough and intense. 

Is this the first time we hear the Mando’a language spoken?

There’s a lot of religious iconography going on in this episode. The building that Obi-Wan meets the Prime Minister and Duchess Satine in, which looks like a church interior. That hand reaching towards the light.

You two are great and all but why are you sassing each other over the very recently dead dude who is right there?!

“That’s why I’m still talking to you.” SAVAGE 

Ahahahahaha Obi-Wan’s little impressed expression CACKLING

Mining is bad kids

Oooh, a Vizla. Is this Paz’s dad?

“Please try not to cause problems where none yet exist” THE SASS

Omg I love these two. They’re perfect.

That pause before Satine said “meditate” XD

Obi-Wan that snooping around is about as subtle as your flirting

I’m loving the music in this episode. It’s been consistently excellent throughout TCW but this episode especially it is really heightening and adding to everything.

This entire scene of Satine trying to subtly communicate with Obi-Wan without alerting Vizla is peak ridiculous campy TCW comedy

“I’m in a bit of an awkward spot” Obi-Wan does like using that phrase when the situation is much worse than he’s letting on. He did the same thing in 2x9 ‘Grievous Intrigue’ when he asked Anakin to pick them up from a ship that was in the middle of exploding in space.

Why did one of the Mandalorians have an OTT south London gangster accent? 

What are those? Random demonstration space pumpkins to emphasise the squishing Obi-Wan is about to receive?

“This is not good.” ya don’t say

Ahahahaha at the line about the loud metallic clanging sound and the machine about to smash him into bits.

I am CACKLING at their sassing of each other. Obi-Wan is metres away from being pureed and they’re still bantering.

This is definitely me reading far too much into things but that look of relief on Obi-Wan’s face looked suspiciously like an orgasm face. Apt seeing as this is the episode where he reconnects with his old flame.

“Unseemly pleasure” hmmm indeed.

That’s where you’re supposed to kiss dammit.

Again with the random south London gangster accent for the Mandalorian “hooligans”?

“We’ll have to stand and fight. Or in your case, just stand.” OBI-WAN YOU DID NOT

For such an apparently uncivilised weapon, Obi-Wan seems suspiciously good at shooting blasters.

The rock! Satine!

Lol the Death Watch leader just flicked his little cape away from in front of his arm and then the next shot we see of him it’s right back where it was. 

Guv’na? Why the random bri’ish accents?

Lol of course Vizla was the baddie and leader of Death Watch.

Nyoom! Wiz! Zing! Random sci-fi noises!

Obi-Wan why are you dodging missiles with dance moves?! What is this ridiculousness? Also, CACKLING

Satine! There are missiles coming, time to go!

Lol of course he fell on top of her but in this case I don’t care and I will take that trope and run with it! 

“Mine was the more daring of the two rescues.” SNORTS

 Lol at Rex, Cody, Anakin and the clones just randomly turning up at the end of the episode.

[hypnotistaza]

The Journey of Practicing Kindness Toward Ourselves

In an effort to stay more connected to myself and the universe, and to keep striving toward some kind of enlightenment, I've recently been diving into the practice of yoga. And honestly, I’ve been so ignorant about what yoga really is for a while now. I used to work with some yogis and, like a lot of people, I assumed it was all about the poses (aka asanas) and cool stretches. But turns out, that’s only a small piece of the overall practice of yoga.

What I’ve come to learn is that yoga is rooted in an entire philosophy called Ashtanga Yoga, and it’s got so much depth. Ashtanga Yoga is actually made up of 8 limbs (or branches), each offering different ways to live more mindfully and harmoniously. Here’s a quick rundown of the 8 limbs:

Yamas (moral restraints)

Niyamas (personal observances)

Asanas (postures, the physical poses we often associate with yoga)

Pranayama (breath control)

Pratyahara (withdrawal of the senses)

Dharana (concentration)

Dhyana (meditation)

Samadhi (a state of unity or enlightenment)

Pretty cool, right? So, it all starts with the Yamas, which are basically guidelines on how to live ethically in relation to others and the world around us. There are five yamas, and they’re like the foundation of a peaceful and intentional life.

The first yama is Ahimsa, which means non-violence or non-harming. This one really caught my attention, especially as I’m learning more about it. Ahimsa is often the starting point for deeper practices because, on the surface, it’s about avoiding physical violence. That’s the most obvious interpretation—don’t harm others physically. Simple enough, right?

But yoga asks us to dig deeper into what non-violence really means. It’s not just about not getting into fistfights (hopefully that’s a given!). Ahimsa also applies to our words and thoughts. It invites us to consider how we talk to and about others, how we react, and how we think about all living beings—including animals, insects, plants, and even the environment. Every living thing has a soul in yoga, and the goal is to cause as little harm as possible in all our interactions.

One thing I found really interesting during my study of Ahimsa was that, while we talked about all these layers of non-violence, there wasn’t much emphasis on self-violence. And that’s a big one, right? Because how many of us go through life treating others kindly but not necessarily doing the same for ourselves? The words and thoughts we direct at ourselves can be just as harmful as anything we might say to others.

The teacher mentioned that the ultimate benefit of practicing Ahimsa is that when you truly embody it, all enmity around you begins to dissolve. But here’s the thing—how can we hope to radiate that kind of peaceful energy outward if we’re not starting with ourselves?

For me, a big takeaway is that if you’re new to practicing Ahimsa (like I am), a great place to begin is with yourself. If you’re anything like me, you might already see yourself as a non-violent person. But I had to pause and ask myself: What am I saying about myself? What am I thinking about myself? And what actions am I taking that might be harmful to me?

I think sometimes we underestimate the power of our self-talk. The unconscious mind doesn’t get sarcasm or “just kidding” jokes—it takes everything literally. So all those little moments of self-deprecation or criticism? They add up. Today, I’m committing to be more intentional about practicing Ahimsa toward myself. That means being kinder in how I think about myself, speak about myself, and take care of myself.

And I encourage you to do the same! If you’ve got any ways you’re already practicing Ahimsa toward yourself, I’d love to hear them. Let’s share and keep lifting each other up.

[zephyr-rat]

Character Insights: Twitch and Zac - Shared Loneliness

This blog post contains spoilers for the following Green Giant Saga Episodes: "Zac's Day Off"

If you want to read the Green Giant Saga, you can do so here! This post is mainly here for more insights on how I’m writing characters -------------------------------------------------------

Back when the League of legends was an actual league, they were labeled as friends and, even after the great retcon, they’re still labeled as related within the League of Legends universe page. Even when more Zaunite protagonists came in like Ekko and Zeri, Zac never had more of a relationship with anyone. The closest he got was a small interaction with Caitlyn, but there would only be one character in Zac’s relation page and vice-versa for Twitch. 

But why would they be friends?

There are multiple ways to do it, but I want to explore how my series “The Green Giant Saga” handles it and how it explores the inherent themes of loneliness and empathy.

Shared Loneliness

Being sump monsters, neither of them really had many opportunities to make friends. Down in the inhabitable, lowest layer of Zaun, the monsters are ruthless and “survival of the fittest” reigns supreme. With so little resources, monsters could only worry about self-preservation. Zac luckily escaped the brunt of it, being extracted by Chem-Baron Takeda and taken to an isolated lab, but Twitch wasn’t so lucky.

He lived his entire life in this brutal environment, scavenging for resources and killing anyone that might be a threat, which, in the sumps, is everyone. Twitch eventually learned quickly. Using his wits and resourceful thinking, he developed quite the stash for himself and even a small reputation among sump-scrappers, but that came with a paranoid philosophy. Everyone's out to steal from you. Everyone’s out to exterminate you. It got to the point where he thought the only way he could have true allies and friends is by creating them by sheer force and willpower via his sentience experiments. He strives to make it happen. After all, what’s a king without his subjects?

Eventually, Zac would come back to the sumps with his newly found parents to hide away from Chem-Baron Takeda. Because of the threat of the chem barons, his parents tried to convince him to keep hidden and be content with a small, humble life in the lowest level of Zaun. However, in his time in those labs, his parents showed him what the upper levels of Zaun could be, through delicately handmade pastries, adventurous comic book stories, or even personal stories of their own. It made him hopeful and curious about that world, but part of him knew that it was dangerous, so he only watches from the cracks, living through people from a distance.

It’s through this loneliness that they naturally meet. Through an accident, Twitch thinks that he created Zac, his first ever sentient creation, after Zac just lost his parents to Takeda. Twitch, having gone through many failed attempts and rat corpses, wants to make this relationship work, even if Zac doesn’t follow orders or doesn’t agree with certain decisions. Meanwhile, Zac has some empathy for Twitch, seeing more of the lonely, paranoid rat than the crazy mutated murderer. Through that, Zac has some hope that he can help Twitch out and make this dark moment of his life more bearable. 

However, this isn’t sustainable.

“Zac’s Day Off” and How We Cope

“But don’t you just want to live now? Not battle or fight or skewer to survive, but live? To smile and do stupid things. To win at games and just look out at the world?” - Zac when talking to Twitch on the Ferris Wheel

In the latest story “Zac’s Day Off”, Twitch is working on a sentience experiment, dunking a rat into acid with his bare hands in the hopes that it would mutate and grant it sentience just like Twitch. Even when it inevitably fails and he has to throw the corpse into the rushing sewage, he hopes that maybe more exposure could successfully mutate him, and that they would find their way back home. He hopes for a future where he could actually be a king to adoring subjects rather than a present where he’s a pest to be exterminated. 

Meanwhile, Zac steps out of the experiment, not wanting to see the rat melt in Twitch’s hands. As he goes out, he sneaks into Twitch’s study and finds the caged rats. Not wanting to see them in pain, he sneaks some of them out of the lair and into the wild, believing that it would make them happier. Instead of indulging in Twitch’s fantastical future, Zac wants to focus on the lives that are living now. He’s seen the good that Zaunites can do and the happy lives they can fulfill, so he lives through them from the cracks in the distance. If he saved their life or contributed to their happiness in some way, then maybe he could be a part of it. He doesn’t want to see it go away.

While Twitch dreams of a better future to replace the rotten present, Zac loves the present and fears what we could lose, afraid of what could change. These mechanisms that are inherent to their characters leads to a wedge in their relationship which frustrates both of them, to the point where Twitch is willing to ask for advice from a surface dwelling yordle to fix the issue. 

Ultimately, “Zac’s Day Off” is more of an exploration of Twitch’s coping mechanisms than Zac. Twitch is mainly going through with Chump’s idea of the day in the fairground to make Zac more loyal to him, to maintain a hint of that fantasized future of the sewer kingdom. However, it is primarily his vision of the future and no one else’s. He sees Zac less as his own person and more of an extension of himself. Zac is “his subject:”, “his grand creation”, and “his first knight”. It’s an extraordinarily selfish endeavor.

This is reflected by the environment itself. The fairground, a place that used to give joy to children, got bought by a chem-baron and is now planned to be torn down for a factory, a path to financial productivity and progress towards their planned future. Chump Whump even makes the parallel explicit by comparing Twitch to Takeda himself, saying that if he learned about Zac’s parents, would he really let Zac go or would he be aggressive and take back Zac, that glimmer of his dream being a reality, by violence and force.

One could argue that Zac is enabling it. Because he’s so focused on the happiness of those in the present, there are times when he puts the feelings of others over his own. After so many years of living through other people’s happiness, it would make sense that he would want Twitch to be happy too, but it goes into conflict with how Twitch sees the present. Throughout the story, Zac wouldn’t be honest to Twitch about how he feels, prioritizing how Twitch feels over his own wants and desires. It wasn’t until Chump let him in on his plan to kill Twitch, until Chump would allow Zac a final goodbye on the ferris wheel that Zac started to be honest with Twitch. 

Through this conversation and his experience within the fairground, Twitch steps out of his head and finally understands why Zac would be so interested in this place, in humanity. He sees Zac’s desire to live in the present and how it gives him hope and happiness. Twitch doesn’t want the fake, dishonest facade that Zac puts up to placate him (and more likely betray him) but a true happiness that he got a glimpse of. A true willingness to stay by his side in the dark loneliness of the sumps. If Zac isn’t happy here, then what’s the point of this kingdom anyways?

[phantalgia]

Introduction and Purpose of My Blog

I’m at a position in my life where I feel...stuck. I’m sure this is a scenerio many know well just in different and unique ways. A blog has been something I've been planning to do for quite some time but never got around to it. Right now feels like the right time.

I will give a basic jist about me but I want to expand upon them in seperate posts as time goes on. Then see how much has changed. I’m a 25 year old demiboy going through a life crisis and feeling like I’m either at a dead end or crossroads. I've been dealing with some "health stuff" and "mental stuff" for the past few years. I put those in quotes because I'm not entirely sure what I’m dealing with and it's been really unclear what doctors think. This is something I will expand upon in later posts.

My interests have evolved over time and frankly, I can barely keep track of them. The social sciences, specifically philosophy, sociology, pedagogy, economics (heterodoxic economics specifically), psychology, psychiatry, post-psychiatry/anti-psychiatry, critical theory, politics, epstimology, anarchism, socialism. I could go on and on. Outside of that sphere I have an interest in art, drawing, animation, fashion, nature, music, guitar, gaming (sorta has changed now), and various aesthetic movements like hauntology, weirdcore, dreamcore, and liminal spaces.

I haven't been able to spend too much time with many of my interests as of late which again I'll explain with time. But these these things mean a lot to me, some more than others, some stronger on one day than another. I'm hoping a blog will get me more motivated to get back to them.

Ultimately the purpose of this blog is to serve a few purposes:

Facilitate and aid my interests (talk about music or things I’m learning for example)

Organize my thoughts and reflect on things

A place to make notes on things I read or resources I consume

Have discussions and form relations with like minded people on topics of interest

And a place to just vent and get the verbal diarrhea that just stews in my head and causes me to pace constantly

There might be more reasons but this is all I got.

Why Tumblr?

I think one of the things that turned me away from Tumblr initially was what the demographic was and the "culture shock" as I'm new to the platform. It seems like Tumblr is more geared towards fandoms, aesthetics, some shitposting, but then I thought "Wait I’m in some fandoms (Hazbin/Helluva, Welcome Home, Furry, etc), into aesthetics, and a little tomfoolery" so that's already covered XD. All I have to worry about now is culture shock. The other reason was it didn't seem like a serious place to call my own. Alternatives for me were Neocites, Blogger, or Bear Blog. Neocities was out of the question (for now) as I didn't want to bother with learning HTML. Blogger was a no because I don’t want to start off that seriously. Bear blogs was a no because it was just too small in terms of community.

So really Tumblr offered the following advantages for me:

An unserious place to not worry about my deteriorating writing skills and grammar.

Get my feet wet in writing and blogging

A place to form community out of shared interests, like mindedness, or other reasons

Microblogging allows me to have balance between something more professional and casual (I guess)

A very queer space, which I desperately need.

Perhaps there will come a day where I evolve past Tumblr, but who knows.

The Name and Theme of My Blog

Jacques Derrida's coinage of the term "hauntology" has really influenced me. Especially Mark Fisher's additions to it. On a deeper more personal level, I felt attatched to the idea of being haunted by futures that never materialized, hence the dreams. How individual past histories to societal, and political histories have shaped our lives and haunt us growing up. How interesting it is that we seem to be completely engrossed with nostalgia for childhood or pasts we never grew up with as if they were some magnum opus of human existence. We see hauntology everywhere, through nostaglia of Y2K aesthetics, vaporwave, and so on. Liminality comes in where hauntology exits. If hauntology is about how the past disrupts the present, liminality comes in to be the transitional phase between that present that is disrupted and the future. So to me, it's a form of reconciliation and comfort, harmony. I will really dig deep into hauntology more at later times from a personal perspective and how it's made me see the world differently. I want emphasize this that this blog is not purely about hauntology itself but is more of an aesthetic choice.

Concluding Introduction

I probably didnt need to go all out like this for an introductory post but I did it anyway. I really want to get an introduction done and dusted and move onto the things that really matter to me. I think my first post will be more geared towards the circumstance I find myself in right now. I also gotta keep exploring with Tumblr and learn how to use it and how I can incorporate ideas of what I want to do with it. Also get better at writing at some point like god damn...

What this blog is NOT

This blog is NOT a place of complete knowledge and understanding of things. Many of my more passionate blog posts are just me venting my heart out and having a place to say what is on my mind, often abstracting from an intellectual point of view. This blog is mostly me learning about things in real time or having very strong emotional reactions to what I learn and dumping it all in a place where it's no longer stuck in my head causing me more distress. I'd like to be more intellectual but I think those dreams are over. My big fear is that as I have become more frustrated over time in life and disillusioned, I have distanced myself from ever possibly engaging with things intellectually. I have noticed this internally, and it puts me in danger of entering the realms of pseudo-intellectualism or just speaking in very basic emotional populist terms. Instead I propose an alternative to how you should see my blog: See my posts as a means to spark your own innate curiosity as to why someone like me feels the way I do. And when I bring up certain topics and subjects, please engage with them with the same curiosity and do your own research and come to your own conclusions, build your own understanding. And if you know more about a topic that I discuss, get wrong, misunderstand/represent, etc., please let me know! I will edit my blog to add extra context or update, I want people to teach me new things!

[sertralineishere]

Welcome to Eucalyptus’s Tumblr page

This is a pinned page that any visitors to my account should read before scrolling down.

You can call me: Ain/Eucalyptus

About pronouns: they/them

Gender: ...Whatever you think I am

Aroace || accept fictional shippings but personally/real life do not want any form of romance || Bilingual || INTP (I swing between INTJ and INTP lol) || >16

Interested fandoms:

Some Roblox games(guts and blackpowder: every NPC but especially Jean and unnamed Prussian Officer💙)/death penalty/Nullxiety/creatures of sonaria/pressure)

fandoms: TMC (the mandela catalogue)*, Death Penalty^, Nullxiety*, creatures of sonaria*, pressure

keys:

*: read related fanfictions and fanarts but do not participate in creating them

^: fanart and fanfiction contents on based on personal guesses and assumptions of the game (since official has not posted any further information)

About each fandom:

G&B:

Okay this is all my personal view you do you, I’m just making clear what I like and what I don’t like.

I don’t care that much as long as they r not too ridiculous. Highlight warning that I do NOT take head canons that involves relating characters background stories (like bro they are npcs who the official couldn’t care less about, sad but the truth. I only follow the canon and SOME fanon depends😉)

As well as creating female original characters in this fandom. It’s fine as long as she is a civilian - anachronistic/historically inaccurate, simple as that.

Roblox Death Penalty:

Well now the whole entire thing is my head canon now lol.

Personally call the screen the Announcer/Simon/Damien(<- name from other creators in the fandom!)

Pressure:

I don’t know mate…I just play the game that’s all.

Interested areas/fields:

Philosophy, psychology, medicine, psychiatry

Things I dislike:

Politics related

Racism (BIG HATE, don't let me encounter this)

Homophobia (any disrespect or prejudice toward

Inappropriate nsfw (18+ CONTENT especially)

(pls be nice and polite under my any of my blogs!)

Other small stuffs:

First of all, I respect everyone.

However, if you are a self shipper who do not put on the right tag for your art please do not follow I won't care if you put on the right tag but if you don't I will take that as you do not consider other people's feelings. It’s something I personally don’t enjoy.

I also typically don’t like head canon that consider characters to be somehow family-associated. I don’t mind most of the ships unless they are too ridiculous.

TW content:

g0r3 content (crimson drawings)

expression of mental states (might be dark, depressing)

use of bright vibrant colours (sometimes) can cause pain in eyes or further body pain

My tags for my random shits and thoughts:

#sertralineisthinking

My tag for any stuff posted by me:

#sertralinesplace

Other than this, have fun!

[crush3dmary]

Question 10 for the fic writer’s ask :) I’m a sucker for behind the scenes content. For weltschmerz! And also #2 (for fic of ur choice!)

HEY! Oh my gosh i actually did a huge twitter thread with Weltschmerz fun facts at one point, I had it linked in the fic itself but then realized... it was kind of spoilery for people who might not have made it to the end yet, so I took it out a while ago. Anyways, fun fact, the entire reason I started writing fic again was because I got the idea for Weltschmerz. I replayed symphonia with a group of my college friends and we went "wouldn't it be cool to see the game from the perspective of a declining Tethe'alla" and then I went "hmm... I used to write fanfiction in high school... could be fun to pick that up again..." and then me and my college friends brainstormed like, the entire fic. I wrote the first chapter in 2018 and it was. Not good, lol. I showed it to someone and they tore it apart (not in a bad way, it was just my first time writing anything but academic papers in years) and then life got busy and I picked it up again in 2020 and finished the whole thing in 6 months. I think there are things I would do differently now if I knew how much it was going to blow up, because I really just wrote it for me and my friends without much care as to what The Entire Tales Fandom was going to think, and let's just say not everyone liked it (I've been subtweeted by a couple popular people on twitter about how much they disliked the fic, but that's entirely another story) but I still look at it fondly after all these years as something I wrote for myself without caring about how 'cringe' it might be. I'm trying to bring that energy back to Philosophy, which is my current multichapter project, because I feel like I got pretty caught up in what other people might think of me with every upload, and that's no way to live.

Write for yourself, fuck the haters <3 At the end of the day, You Will Know Our Names, won't you? (okay, that's a vague at the people who subtweeted me, but it's funny)

[nerves-nebula]

why did your parents homeschool you when they didn't seem to have an interest in teaching you?

Sorry but this ask has me in hysterics cause like,,, I DUNNO, ANON WHY DID THEY????

Ok but fr, from what I can tell it was a mixture of not trusting public education, wanting direct control over what we learned, being bad at teaching kids, and then just kind of getting too busy and giving up. Like our mom did teach us how to read, right? But she kinda got … i dunno, bored?? tired?? Near the end?? So my youngest sister really got screwed in that department and needed tutoring.

I have a lot of memories though where we’d go somewhere like my brothers baseball game and she’d pull out different work books for each of us while starting on a reading lesson with another one of us. So, like, she DID try. I have way too many painful memories of frustrating homework to say that she didn’t try to teach us anything hah. she just didnt teach us very thoroughly, especially about things she assumed we'd just pick up eventually (like time, dates, and months)

Also, my dad is a philosophy professor with multiple degrees who heavily values the education of his children. But I don’t think he’s good at teaching kids, and he didn’t even live with us most of the time. So while he supported the whole thing and would administer science tests (AKA have me read a science text book and then take a test on the chapters I read) he wasn't super involved, from what I can recall.

Wanna know the funniest part tho? Home schooled kids tend to test higher than publicly educated kids. And despite the gaps in our general knowledge and downright educational neglect at times, that’s still the case for me & my siblings.

My brother got insane math scores, I’m talking better than 90% of his peers. And I always scored particularly high in English. my worst subject was math but i never failed anything. i had a breakdown when i got a B in my first ever semester of high school, because to me that was basically failing since my mom said it isn't that hard to get A's :/

my oldest sister has a theory that we're all autistic because we all kinda act like it, haha. which might explain why we didnt realize, cause if all of our siblings are autistic then its just normal to us.

but ALSO: we all have at least one thing we're insanely good at. my oldest brother was fantastic at math (before he self sabotaged but idc about him so whatever). my oldest sister is a wonderful writer and has a fantastic rate of success when she sends out her writing to be published, my other older sister is incredibly smart with math & science and is trying to become a doctor (she also makes all her own clothing and is really good at crafting). i got accepted to every art college i applied to, with scholarships & everything. my younger brother is one of the top football recruits of his year in our entire state. and my littlest sisters skill set is harder to describe, but the gist of it is that she's really good at manipulating people and lying. not sure where she's going with that but she's probably gotten hundreds of dollars of free stuff from people and she enjoys acting. excited to see where she goes cause i genuinely think she could do anything she wants to haha.

ok but now im just ranting about how cool my siblings are. THE POINT IS THIS- as much as I was neglected educationally, I think my parents accidentally did something right: I think they accidentally unschooled us, because our education was NOT as strict as some of the other home schooled kids I met.

my theory is that the neglect/accidental un-schooling kind of led to gaps in knowledge around things i didn't NEED to know to live day to day life (I didn't NEED to know the months or days until I went to public school. before that, I'd just ask mom what day it was, or else just go along with whatever she said we were doing that day)

BUT on the flip side! It also led to me and my siblings basically developing highly practiced skill sets based on our personal interests. and also kept our desire to learn relatively in tact, compared to kids who had the curiosity to learn beaten out of them in middle school with mind numbing homework hahafsdfadf.

OK SO I've clearly gotten away from your original question, anon, apologies but this sparked something in me and i HAD to ramble about my theories.

[animebw]

Short Reflection: Trigun Stampede

Serious question: do I dislike Trigun Stampede on its own merits, or do I just dislike it for not being Trigun?

It’s a question I’ve been struggling with all throughout the past few months, watching studio Orange’s modern revamp of this 90s classic. I only watched Trigun a few years ago, so I’m far from a nostalgia-blinded fanboy griping about a show not living up to his childhood memories. On the other hand, I am a huge fan of Trigun. Its unique blend of Sat AM cartoon goofiness and hard-hitting sci-fi morality play resulted in a wonderful space western extravaganza that still holds a special place in my heart. I’d argue it’s even better then Cowboy Bebop, but that’s a discussion for another day. So its possible my lukewarm feelings on Trigun Stampede are because it’s so deliberately different from the version of the show I fell in love with. And that wouldn’t be fair to it; stories get re-imagined all the time, and Stampede doesn’t deserve to be unfairly criticized just because it’s not my preferred take on the material. But still... man, this show just did not click with me. Maybe I wouldn’t be as grumpy about Stampede if I wasn’t comparing it to OG Trigun every second, but even if I went into it blind, part of me feels I’d still come away thinking it was mediocre. So let’s untangle that big ball of conflicting feelings and see if we can figure out what's going on, and whether or not this show is actually as Not Good as I think it is.

The broad strokes, at least, remain the same. It’s space, it’s a western. and Vash the Humanoid Typoon is the most wanted man in the galaxy. But when the intrepid Meryl Strife finally tracks the legendary criminal down, it turns out he’s just a lovable goofball, and the crimes attached to his name are the result of bad dudes leaving carnage in the wake of their attempts to catch him. And said bad dudes are being led by Vash’s sinister, mysterious brother Knives, who is determined to prove Vash’s pacifistic, cohabitational philosophy wrong whatever it takes. But inside those broad strokes, Trigun Stampede is steadfastly carving its own course through the series’ mythos. Characters are changed around, plot points are retooled, most of the designs are tweaked in some way, even certain character movitations and foundational lore details are altered. And, of course, instead of the nostalgic crunchiness of pre-digital cel animation, this show is brought to life with the most bombastic, slickly produced CG animation money can buy. The Stampede team wanted to create something entirely new out of this franchise, and whatever else might be said about this show, they clearly succeeded in that goal.

But of course, it’s a bad idea to change things around just to change things around. There’s gotta be a point. And unfortunately, my ultimate feeling on Stampede is that basically every change it makes is a change for the worse.

To start with the most obvious: yes, Milly Thompson’s absence is sorely felt. The goofy banter between her and Meryl was one of the most endearing parts of Trigun, and losing that chemistry is a serious detriment to the show’s charm. It doesn’t help that the guy they replaced her with, the amusingly named Roberto de Niro, is about as generic a grizzled older authority figure archetype as I’ve ever seen, and while his banter with Meryl isn’t awful, it’s definitely a huge step down. On the bright side, this season does end with confirmation that Milly’s gonna show up in season 2, so better late than never, I suppose. In a strange way, you could almost consider Stampede a re-imagined prequel that shifts around the timeline to have Meryl and Vash meet and have their first adventure before settling into their eventual status quo from the original story. And I may end up feeling kinder toward the show if season 2 is better able to capture that Trigun charm. But for now, we’ll have to wait and see on that front.

Circling back to old Roberto, though, his inclusion is actually part of a much more serious issue than simply replacing a beloved character. Part of what made Milly and Meryl’s dynamic so entertaining is how fresh it felt. They were two put-upon insurance agents grinding through low-level grunt work, facing the mundane stupidity of the world as equals. Even as they get embroiled in Vash’s increasingly cosmic affairs, they never lose that sense of down-to-earth naturalism. You don’t see that kind of energy too often, especially with a pair of female characters. Meryl and Milly were women in charge of their own destiny with their own parts to play. But with the addition of Roberto and Meryl’s job changed from insurance agent to Roberto’s junior reporter colleague, that refreshingly forward-thinking dynamic becomes just another example of the tired “experienced, world-weary dude and his naive female subordinate who still has her moral compass intact.” I have seen this dynamic everywhere; it’s in at least two other shows this season! Why mess with one of Trigun’s most entertaining dynamics if you’re just gonna replace it with what everyone else is doing?

And sadly, that’s a bit of a theme all throughout Stampede. Almost every change or addition it makes to the story and mythos results in something far less interesting and original than what it took away. Vash’s backstory, the motivation for his pacifism, Knives’ plan... so many of the specific details that make Trigun, Trigun have been watered down and made more generic than they were ever supposed to be. And because of how cramped the pacing is, the delicate tonal balance is lost as well. The original Trigun was so good at balancing the goofy, Bebopian space western antics of Vash and his pals with the heavy, dramatic space opera stuff that eventually took over the story. It gave you enough time to soak in the grit and tactility of the slummy desert planets so it felt significant when Knives and his machinations dragged Vash into darker territory. But in Stampede, Knives shows up in episode three. We only get two episodes to appreciate Trigun at its cartoony best before it’s washed away in a tidal wave of bombastic melodrama. As such, Vash, Meryl, Wolfwood and Roberto never get a chance to develop the camaraderie the old versions of them did. They’re pushed into Serious Dramatic mode before you even get a chance to appreciate them at their most human. There’s a moment in the first episode where Vash is cackling like an idiot while hanging upside-down from a scavenger’s trap, and it has more of the original’s heart and soul than anything past episode 2. That’s the Trigun I wanted to see. Not this overly dramatic slog through overblown action setpieces and overthought lore that rushes through plot points too fast for them to sink in.

On the bright side, I can at least appreciate how fantastic those setpieces look. Studio Orange has always been pushing the boundaries on what CG anime is capable of, but their work on Stampede really is incredible. The scale and complexity of this action would not be possible without the tools CG makes available, and they take full advantage of that fact. Dizzying camera tricks, dynamic use of environment, countless spectacular spins and flourishes as things grow increasingly superhuman... on a pure spectacle level, I doubt few shows will even come close throughout the year. And even outside the action, the character animation and cinematic visual language ensure that Stampede is never anything less than impressive to look at. It’s also, pretty significantly, the first time that Orange has proven they can animate human characters well. Sentient rocks and furries are one thing, but the way Vash and Meryl and all the rest move and emote never once feels like a cheap approximation of hand-drawn animation. They feel human, even when the writing helping them out. And i love how it isn’t afraid to still experiment with stuff like Wolfwood’s backstory being done entirely in painterly 2D. It’s almost a cliche to say now, but Orange really is proving once again that CG anime can be as artistically brilliant as its 2D counterpart.

Honestly, it’s kind of funny. Going into this show, the thing I was most worried about was how well Trigun would work outside the specific visual language of tactile 90s hand-drawn animation. But the translation to slick, high-budget CG is far and away the most successful change Stampede makes. It’s nothing like the original, but it’s doing its own thing superbly and charting its own path inside the franchise. That’s what I wanted from Stampede; not the same thing, but something just as good on its own merits, remixing the familiar into something new and spectacular. And had the rest of the show been as good as the animation at justifying its new take on the material, I would have very little to complain about. Sadly, it feels like every other change was a change for the worst, not for the better. Instead of creating something unique from the tools the original left behind, it stripped away what made the original unique in the first place and left something far less special in its place. I hope the second season manages to course correct and deliver on that promise. But for now, I can only lament that Stampede is a much less interesting take on a story that deserved so much better, and I give it a score of:

4/10

That’s it for the full reviews for Winter 2023. Next up? The seasonal reflection. See you then!